Heaven just got a little sweeter.

This past Friday morning my grandmother passed away. She was 95 years old. It's hard to imagine living to be that age. Can you imagine all the stories that you could tell? My Dad read the above verse at her funeral yesterday, and I was struck with how appropriate it was. It wouldn't hurt for us all to live with this mantra in mind!

She was an AMAZING woman. My grandfather died way back in the 70s when my dad was just a teenager from leukemia. Not only did she have to endure this, but she was left with the daunting task of raising 3 boys on her own. She did this seemingly with ease. I have never seen a harder working woman. From the time that I can remember, she was always working in the garden or cooking or canning or something related to bettering her home.

Her health has declined drastically over the last six years. The family has known for quite some time now that if she had the choice, she would want to move on. Way too much waiting for her in Heaven to hang around here. She finally got her chance a couple of days ago. The funeral was bittersweet.... sad for us to lose such an awesome woman, but exciting for her to finally be reunited with her husband, old family & friends, and of course her creator!

We will miss you!!!

L.O.V.E

I attend Highpoint Church here in Memphis. It is an AMAZING place where you can truly feel God work when you are there. Never before have I been to a church where they encourage you to love others... everyone. I think some churches, particularly in the South, get a bad rap for being judgemental towards those who are not your stereotypical bible belt Southern Christians. However, I whole heartedly believe that God did not call us to shun those who are "different" from us... be it in skin color, sexual preference, mental handicaps, addictions, income.. ANYTHING. One of my favorite things, perhaps THE favorite thing, about Highpoint is how they encourage their members to love everyone... because only when you love someone can you make a difference in their lives.

Anyway.. that wasn't the purpose of this post. I tend to ramble. Really, I wanted to share what we discussed today. It really opened my eyes about certain things. We are currently in a series designed primarily for the men in the congregation, but I think I'm getting just as much out of it as the males are supposed to. Each weekend highlights a specific character trait of what it means to be a hero, and today's happened to be love. I've always struggled with the subject of the big L word. I tend to be a realist, and I lead with my brain instead of my heart in almost every situation. In my relationship with God, as well as in past relationships with guys, I've always waited to "feel" like I'm in love. I would get frustrated when I didn't feel in love, and question if I was missing some sensitivity chip that seems to be imbedded in every other female. I don't like touchy feelyness & sweet talking/pet names makes me laugh. I kind of feel like a dude in that aspect.

Andy, our teaching pastor, made some amazing points today that really opened my eyes as to what it means to actually be in love... It's not about warm and fuzzy feelings and staring into each others eyes for hours. Instead, it's more important to view it as a choice & the act of putting anothers wants and needs in front of your own. He used the phrase "instantly fall in love" as an example. What the heck does that even mean? One day you free fall into the realization that you "love" someone? Really? I always agreed with the statment that if you fall in love with someone, that means that you can fall out of it. NO. Instead, you choose to love someone. It isn't an act that you subconsciously fall into... instead, you one day make a choice that you care enough and enjoy the company enough with someone that you would be willing to put them before yourself for the rest of your life on Earth. As an example to the saying's ridiculousness, Andy used the following example: You know how you have the fruits of the spirits, right? Patience, as well as love, are 2 of the fruits. When have you EVER heard someone say that they "fell into patience." How great would that be? Unforuntately it just doesn't happen like that.. we choose to be patient just as we choose to love.

Love is not driven by emotion... it's driven by experience. This just opened my eyes on how wrong I've viewed this in the past. With a relationship with God, it's not about feelings... it's about obedience. With a relationship with a man, it's not about emotions... it's about selflessness. It might sound simple, but I've never viewed it like this. It's an amazing, honest concept that I believe will change how I approach things in the future. I'm not in a relationship at that moment.. not even close. BUT, I can see now the mistakes & the bad decisions that I made in the past. Andy closed the sermon today with this quote: "1 Corinthians chapter 13 says that love never fails. Know why it doesn't fail? Because you suck it up and stay... you stick it out... no matter what." The song "She Will be Loved" by Maroon 5 instantly popped in my head... kind of random but that's how I roll. This is the line that I kept humming.. "It's not always rainbows and butterflies, It's compromise that moves us along, yeahh."

Good stuff I tell ya.

Trash TV

I've come to the conclusion that the more ridiculous the show, the more I love it. Seriously. There are some respectable shows on TV nowadays. The history channel is a noble choice... or even a show to challenge your brain like Criminal Minds or Bones. Me? Nahhhh. Get that crap outta here. Give me pregnant teenagers, drunken Kardashians, or catty fights for a rose any day.

Summer TV is the best... You're usually between seasons of the "good" network shows. Thus, MTV and ABC Family finally get their time to shine... and boy do they shine. Here are my favorite shows this summer... faithfully recorded every week.


1. The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Takes the cake for the most ridiculous show on television. The acting is horrible, the characters are laughable, and I can't for the life of me keep up with which baby is pregnant with a baby. Despite all of that, I am so into this show. I actually teared up two episodes ago when Adrian lost her baby. What can I say? I'm hooked.

2. The Bachelorette

Gets me every.single.time. Every season it's like clockwork. "She's the Bachelorette?!? Oh, I'm definitely not watching this season!" Pshhhh. Who am I kidding. I'll be there every Monday night shouting at the TV to not be such an idiot all the while texting my friends about who we think she'll send home. I even have a favorite every season that I get mighty attached to. This season it's JB..... he kind of reminds me of Chad Michael Murray... fine as heck.

3. Pretty Little Liars

Ok, I may or may not have a weekly watch pary with my best friend Valerie for this one... If a show has me gasping and jumping out of skin multiple times an episode, it's a winner in my book. I'm so anxious to find out what happens that I actually started reading the books as well. I was only a little embarrased when I pulled that bad baby out at the airport this summer next to a guy reading John Grisham. I felt he judged me just a little bit.

4. The Voice

Better than American Idol in my opinion. Great idea/concept. It doesn't hurt that I'm a wee bit obsessed with 2 of the 4 judges. Adam Levine and Blake Shelton could each father a child of mine & I wouldn't even be ashamed. No doubt.

5. Teen Mom

Yet another pregnant teenager show... I might need help. Let me clear one thing up though. The latest season was pure crap... Get those boring kids out of here and give me my original winners. Well, apparently MTV heard my cries because starting in July the original cast of teen mom is back! Cannot wait. I welcome abusive Amber, momma drama Farrah, sweet little Macy, and technically-not-a-mother-so-how'd-she-get-on-the-show Caitlyn back with open arms. Best news all summer.

Well, there you have it.... Let the judging begin.

I Want It That Way

Last night, I did something ridiculous.... I went to a Backstreet Boys concert. Yes, yes... make fun all you want. I had NO IDEA what to expect from this night. Actually, I lied. I had somewhat of an idea of what I thought would go down. The forum would probably be about 1/4 filled with 20 and 30 something year old women screaming at a few out of breath old timers gyrating on stage.

This was only partly true. While the female to male ratio at this concert was about 300 to 1, I am here to tell you that BSB still has it. I lost all pride the second I walked in the door. It was like I was in a trance. If Nick Carter told me to wave my hands, I waved them. If I was told to fist pump, have no fear that I sure did. If someone had recorded me this night, it would have 24000 hits on YouTube because of how ridiculous I probably looked. I also managed to still remember every single word of these songs and belted them out like there was no shame in my game.

Here are some photos of the night:

Starting the night on Beale!

N-K-O-T-B-S-B ( I think I may have even chanted this at several points throughout the night... Oh, the shame.... lol )

Lindsey & I before the concert

Backstreet's Back... ALRIGHT!!!

There is no better way to start the week than a little blast from the past with some great friends! :)

In Case you Missed It.....

For those of you who didn't turn on the TV, the computer, your phone, or generally leave your home today....

Ramblings.

I have had about a thousand thoughts swirling around in my head today. Seriously, who could blame me though given the events conspiring both locally & internationally. Some of them are exciting & others can be considered nothing short of terrifying. Already in 2011, we've seen violence in Egypt, Libya, and the Middle East as a whole, a massive history-making earthquake in Japan, a Royal wedding, tornadoes & flooding throughout the entire South, & the Grizzlies making a name for themselves in the post season of the NBA.

Now, we have something new to add to the list: the death of Osama bin Laden. I, like the rest of America should have been, was on the edge of my seat last night waiting to see what the President had to say. I was almost moved to tears by his speech & the live footage of various places in America rejoicing for this moment in history. My first instinct, of course, was celebratory. The man who was chieftly responsible for the death of hundreds of innocent civilians had been brought to justice! Finally the families of those who were affected by September 11th & the resulting war that has plagued our country for 10 years could feel some closure.

After this initial feeling though came remorse. Why was I celebrating the death of anyone - even someone who represented such evil? Think back to 2011. I remember, even as a 13 year old, feeling such anger by the footage of the groups in the Middle East rejoicing that they had killed so many Americans & had "taken us down a notch." Why would you ever cheer over the death of anyone?? Then, last night, in a less extreme way the tables were turned. We, as Americans, could be seen all over the country cheering because our act of violence ended lives.

Now, I'm most certainly not saying that killing Osama was wrong. He was a horrible man responsible for so. much. evil. You could even go as far as to say that killing him could mean that we stopped him from accomplishing even more.

I will say this though. I do not believe that Osama's death will bring us instant peace... In fact, it would be far reaching to say that it is even a stepping stone to peace. What it simply means is that we have finally made progress in the war against terrorism. And who wouldn't like to feel that our efforts for the last 10 years hasn't been done in vain... that it has reaped at least some success.

I guess it's ok to feel all emotions with Osama's death - both relief & remorse. I liked this quote I read today in an article:

" If we have any feeling of victory or triumph in this case, it should be because we have succeeded in disabling him - not because he is dead."

It almost sums up my feeling exactly. On a side note, props to Obama for his usage of the one nation UNDER GOD reference as well as his wish that God bless our country. Let us never forget that is is by His grace that we are where we are today. To take His will & our country's Christian faith out of the equation is NEVER ok.

Whew. I'm certanly FULL of opinions today. Here's one that I'm not torn about at all:

GO GRIZZ GO!!!!

Update Time

I'm so bad at this. like unbelievably bad. It's not really worth having a blog if you don't update it, right? At the risk of sounding like I'm crying wolf, I really am going to try to write more. I love to write & I have an opinion about everything so you would think this would be something that I would want to do all the time, right?

Wrong.

I start to write something on the blog and my mind goes blank. I blame it on the fact that I don't use my brain much anymore. I legitately had a thought today that I think I'm getting dumber without school and/or a challenging work environment. My work is so repetitive. I literally do and say the same stuff every single day. It's like I work off a script.

"Read me the lowest line you can see without squinting."

"Stare straight ahead at this image. It's going to go in and out of focus."

Blah. Blah. Blah

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job, and I don't dread going into work like the majority of my friends seem to. It's just not challenging. at all. I am MORE than ready to get back into a learning environment this fall. How nerdy of me. I've discovered I love to learn. I miss the feeling of accomplishment that I would get from checking off things from my to do list. I miss to do lists. Can you believe I just said that?????

Lately, I find myself writing one number/word, but meaning another. OR being in the middle of a story, and then completely losing my train of thought. Seriously, what is that?? Am I 22 going on 80?? Therefore, I think I need to put the ol' thinker to a few intellectual exercises.... I need a library card. Do they still have those? I haven't been into a library that wasn't a school library since I was 10 years old. I used to check out 8 books at a time when I was a kid and read them all within a week. I think 10 year old me could actually be smarter than 22 year old me. How terribly sad. I have a new personal goal for the week: go to the library. && check out "books" that you don't buy at the checkout at Target..... I got this. Hopefully.