Heaven just got a little sweeter.

This past Friday morning my grandmother passed away. She was 95 years old. It's hard to imagine living to be that age. Can you imagine all the stories that you could tell? My Dad read the above verse at her funeral yesterday, and I was struck with how appropriate it was. It wouldn't hurt for us all to live with this mantra in mind!

She was an AMAZING woman. My grandfather died way back in the 70s when my dad was just a teenager from leukemia. Not only did she have to endure this, but she was left with the daunting task of raising 3 boys on her own. She did this seemingly with ease. I have never seen a harder working woman. From the time that I can remember, she was always working in the garden or cooking or canning or something related to bettering her home.

Her health has declined drastically over the last six years. The family has known for quite some time now that if she had the choice, she would want to move on. Way too much waiting for her in Heaven to hang around here. She finally got her chance a couple of days ago. The funeral was bittersweet.... sad for us to lose such an awesome woman, but exciting for her to finally be reunited with her husband, old family & friends, and of course her creator!

We will miss you!!!

L.O.V.E

I attend Highpoint Church here in Memphis. It is an AMAZING place where you can truly feel God work when you are there. Never before have I been to a church where they encourage you to love others... everyone. I think some churches, particularly in the South, get a bad rap for being judgemental towards those who are not your stereotypical bible belt Southern Christians. However, I whole heartedly believe that God did not call us to shun those who are "different" from us... be it in skin color, sexual preference, mental handicaps, addictions, income.. ANYTHING. One of my favorite things, perhaps THE favorite thing, about Highpoint is how they encourage their members to love everyone... because only when you love someone can you make a difference in their lives.

Anyway.. that wasn't the purpose of this post. I tend to ramble. Really, I wanted to share what we discussed today. It really opened my eyes about certain things. We are currently in a series designed primarily for the men in the congregation, but I think I'm getting just as much out of it as the males are supposed to. Each weekend highlights a specific character trait of what it means to be a hero, and today's happened to be love. I've always struggled with the subject of the big L word. I tend to be a realist, and I lead with my brain instead of my heart in almost every situation. In my relationship with God, as well as in past relationships with guys, I've always waited to "feel" like I'm in love. I would get frustrated when I didn't feel in love, and question if I was missing some sensitivity chip that seems to be imbedded in every other female. I don't like touchy feelyness & sweet talking/pet names makes me laugh. I kind of feel like a dude in that aspect.

Andy, our teaching pastor, made some amazing points today that really opened my eyes as to what it means to actually be in love... It's not about warm and fuzzy feelings and staring into each others eyes for hours. Instead, it's more important to view it as a choice & the act of putting anothers wants and needs in front of your own. He used the phrase "instantly fall in love" as an example. What the heck does that even mean? One day you free fall into the realization that you "love" someone? Really? I always agreed with the statment that if you fall in love with someone, that means that you can fall out of it. NO. Instead, you choose to love someone. It isn't an act that you subconsciously fall into... instead, you one day make a choice that you care enough and enjoy the company enough with someone that you would be willing to put them before yourself for the rest of your life on Earth. As an example to the saying's ridiculousness, Andy used the following example: You know how you have the fruits of the spirits, right? Patience, as well as love, are 2 of the fruits. When have you EVER heard someone say that they "fell into patience." How great would that be? Unforuntately it just doesn't happen like that.. we choose to be patient just as we choose to love.

Love is not driven by emotion... it's driven by experience. This just opened my eyes on how wrong I've viewed this in the past. With a relationship with God, it's not about feelings... it's about obedience. With a relationship with a man, it's not about emotions... it's about selflessness. It might sound simple, but I've never viewed it like this. It's an amazing, honest concept that I believe will change how I approach things in the future. I'm not in a relationship at that moment.. not even close. BUT, I can see now the mistakes & the bad decisions that I made in the past. Andy closed the sermon today with this quote: "1 Corinthians chapter 13 says that love never fails. Know why it doesn't fail? Because you suck it up and stay... you stick it out... no matter what." The song "She Will be Loved" by Maroon 5 instantly popped in my head... kind of random but that's how I roll. This is the line that I kept humming.. "It's not always rainbows and butterflies, It's compromise that moves us along, yeahh."

Good stuff I tell ya.

Trash TV

I've come to the conclusion that the more ridiculous the show, the more I love it. Seriously. There are some respectable shows on TV nowadays. The history channel is a noble choice... or even a show to challenge your brain like Criminal Minds or Bones. Me? Nahhhh. Get that crap outta here. Give me pregnant teenagers, drunken Kardashians, or catty fights for a rose any day.

Summer TV is the best... You're usually between seasons of the "good" network shows. Thus, MTV and ABC Family finally get their time to shine... and boy do they shine. Here are my favorite shows this summer... faithfully recorded every week.


1. The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Takes the cake for the most ridiculous show on television. The acting is horrible, the characters are laughable, and I can't for the life of me keep up with which baby is pregnant with a baby. Despite all of that, I am so into this show. I actually teared up two episodes ago when Adrian lost her baby. What can I say? I'm hooked.

2. The Bachelorette

Gets me every.single.time. Every season it's like clockwork. "She's the Bachelorette?!? Oh, I'm definitely not watching this season!" Pshhhh. Who am I kidding. I'll be there every Monday night shouting at the TV to not be such an idiot all the while texting my friends about who we think she'll send home. I even have a favorite every season that I get mighty attached to. This season it's JB..... he kind of reminds me of Chad Michael Murray... fine as heck.

3. Pretty Little Liars

Ok, I may or may not have a weekly watch pary with my best friend Valerie for this one... If a show has me gasping and jumping out of skin multiple times an episode, it's a winner in my book. I'm so anxious to find out what happens that I actually started reading the books as well. I was only a little embarrased when I pulled that bad baby out at the airport this summer next to a guy reading John Grisham. I felt he judged me just a little bit.

4. The Voice

Better than American Idol in my opinion. Great idea/concept. It doesn't hurt that I'm a wee bit obsessed with 2 of the 4 judges. Adam Levine and Blake Shelton could each father a child of mine & I wouldn't even be ashamed. No doubt.

5. Teen Mom

Yet another pregnant teenager show... I might need help. Let me clear one thing up though. The latest season was pure crap... Get those boring kids out of here and give me my original winners. Well, apparently MTV heard my cries because starting in July the original cast of teen mom is back! Cannot wait. I welcome abusive Amber, momma drama Farrah, sweet little Macy, and technically-not-a-mother-so-how'd-she-get-on-the-show Caitlyn back with open arms. Best news all summer.

Well, there you have it.... Let the judging begin.

I Want It That Way

Last night, I did something ridiculous.... I went to a Backstreet Boys concert. Yes, yes... make fun all you want. I had NO IDEA what to expect from this night. Actually, I lied. I had somewhat of an idea of what I thought would go down. The forum would probably be about 1/4 filled with 20 and 30 something year old women screaming at a few out of breath old timers gyrating on stage.

This was only partly true. While the female to male ratio at this concert was about 300 to 1, I am here to tell you that BSB still has it. I lost all pride the second I walked in the door. It was like I was in a trance. If Nick Carter told me to wave my hands, I waved them. If I was told to fist pump, have no fear that I sure did. If someone had recorded me this night, it would have 24000 hits on YouTube because of how ridiculous I probably looked. I also managed to still remember every single word of these songs and belted them out like there was no shame in my game.

Here are some photos of the night:

Starting the night on Beale!

N-K-O-T-B-S-B ( I think I may have even chanted this at several points throughout the night... Oh, the shame.... lol )

Lindsey & I before the concert

Backstreet's Back... ALRIGHT!!!

There is no better way to start the week than a little blast from the past with some great friends! :)

In Case you Missed It.....

For those of you who didn't turn on the TV, the computer, your phone, or generally leave your home today....

Ramblings.

I have had about a thousand thoughts swirling around in my head today. Seriously, who could blame me though given the events conspiring both locally & internationally. Some of them are exciting & others can be considered nothing short of terrifying. Already in 2011, we've seen violence in Egypt, Libya, and the Middle East as a whole, a massive history-making earthquake in Japan, a Royal wedding, tornadoes & flooding throughout the entire South, & the Grizzlies making a name for themselves in the post season of the NBA.

Now, we have something new to add to the list: the death of Osama bin Laden. I, like the rest of America should have been, was on the edge of my seat last night waiting to see what the President had to say. I was almost moved to tears by his speech & the live footage of various places in America rejoicing for this moment in history. My first instinct, of course, was celebratory. The man who was chieftly responsible for the death of hundreds of innocent civilians had been brought to justice! Finally the families of those who were affected by September 11th & the resulting war that has plagued our country for 10 years could feel some closure.

After this initial feeling though came remorse. Why was I celebrating the death of anyone - even someone who represented such evil? Think back to 2011. I remember, even as a 13 year old, feeling such anger by the footage of the groups in the Middle East rejoicing that they had killed so many Americans & had "taken us down a notch." Why would you ever cheer over the death of anyone?? Then, last night, in a less extreme way the tables were turned. We, as Americans, could be seen all over the country cheering because our act of violence ended lives.

Now, I'm most certainly not saying that killing Osama was wrong. He was a horrible man responsible for so. much. evil. You could even go as far as to say that killing him could mean that we stopped him from accomplishing even more.

I will say this though. I do not believe that Osama's death will bring us instant peace... In fact, it would be far reaching to say that it is even a stepping stone to peace. What it simply means is that we have finally made progress in the war against terrorism. And who wouldn't like to feel that our efforts for the last 10 years hasn't been done in vain... that it has reaped at least some success.

I guess it's ok to feel all emotions with Osama's death - both relief & remorse. I liked this quote I read today in an article:

" If we have any feeling of victory or triumph in this case, it should be because we have succeeded in disabling him - not because he is dead."

It almost sums up my feeling exactly. On a side note, props to Obama for his usage of the one nation UNDER GOD reference as well as his wish that God bless our country. Let us never forget that is is by His grace that we are where we are today. To take His will & our country's Christian faith out of the equation is NEVER ok.

Whew. I'm certanly FULL of opinions today. Here's one that I'm not torn about at all:

GO GRIZZ GO!!!!

Update Time

I'm so bad at this. like unbelievably bad. It's not really worth having a blog if you don't update it, right? At the risk of sounding like I'm crying wolf, I really am going to try to write more. I love to write & I have an opinion about everything so you would think this would be something that I would want to do all the time, right?

Wrong.

I start to write something on the blog and my mind goes blank. I blame it on the fact that I don't use my brain much anymore. I legitately had a thought today that I think I'm getting dumber without school and/or a challenging work environment. My work is so repetitive. I literally do and say the same stuff every single day. It's like I work off a script.

"Read me the lowest line you can see without squinting."

"Stare straight ahead at this image. It's going to go in and out of focus."

Blah. Blah. Blah

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job, and I don't dread going into work like the majority of my friends seem to. It's just not challenging. at all. I am MORE than ready to get back into a learning environment this fall. How nerdy of me. I've discovered I love to learn. I miss the feeling of accomplishment that I would get from checking off things from my to do list. I miss to do lists. Can you believe I just said that?????

Lately, I find myself writing one number/word, but meaning another. OR being in the middle of a story, and then completely losing my train of thought. Seriously, what is that?? Am I 22 going on 80?? Therefore, I think I need to put the ol' thinker to a few intellectual exercises.... I need a library card. Do they still have those? I haven't been into a library that wasn't a school library since I was 10 years old. I used to check out 8 books at a time when I was a kid and read them all within a week. I think 10 year old me could actually be smarter than 22 year old me. How terribly sad. I have a new personal goal for the week: go to the library. && check out "books" that you don't buy at the checkout at Target..... I got this. Hopefully.

Don't wish your life away...

I know that expression. I've heard it all my life. My parents said it to me countless times when I was growing up because I always catch myself looking forward to something in the future. Lately, I am very guilty of this. I have about a thousand countdowns going on in my phone because I'm just SO excited about what the next few months have in store.

Allow me to share.....

1. Mexico!!! My friend, Megan, invited me to go with her & her family in March. It was such a hasty decision, and I could not be more excited. Traveling is one of my passions, and I don't get to do it enough. Proof of this? I got my passport back in 2007 convinced that I would be stamping it at least once a year with all the cool places I would be going throughout college. Fast forward 4 years later and it has yet to be stamped at all. Real cool. Needless to say, I am pumped. Visions of relaxing on the beach and overusing the word "amigo" are dancing through my head. Now, if only I could actually save some money & do some extra crunches at night, I would be all set!

2. MOVING!!! Although I am incredibly sad to be leaving my roommate of almost 4 years, I am the freak who loves moving. I love the entire process.... packing, decorating, organizing, painting, etc. I just like the freshness that it brings. The only downside to my whole moving adventure? I have yet to find a for sure place to live.... and I move out in approximately 30 something days. Cue the nerves and anxiety attack, right?? For someone who likes to constantly be in control & have every little detail planned out, this is causing me some turmoil. However, I just keep telling myself that everything works out how it is supposed to. Therefore, I'm not worried YET.

3. KINGS OF LEON CONCERT!! Beyond excited for this. I have recently had a little infatuation with KOL. In fact, it has become a little annoying to the frequent passengers in my car. Several requests have been made to listen to something else... ANYTHING else. Point taken.

4. VALERIE's WEDDING!! A tad bittersweet.... not gonna lie. On the one hand, my best friend is getting married & this is just so exciting!! On the other hand, she is getting married & this means the reality that I have known for the past 5 years is about to be turned upside down. Ok, maybe that was a tad dramatic, but you get the point. Gone are the days when I can walk two feet and see her. Now, we are going to have to plan to hang out.... as in call each other and ask to meet at a restaurant or ask to come over?? Mind blown. I'm not naive enough to know that our friendship won't change. I mean she will be doing wifey things and living with a BOY..... & then I'll be over here doing the studenty thing & eating frozen meals with mass volumes of caffeine. HOWEVER, I am bound & determined to be as close to her as we've always been. I'm so incredibly happy for her that she has found the person that she wants to spend the rest of her life with, and I can't wait until May 7th to celebrate!!!

5. HAWAII!! I couldn't let Valerie have all the fun honeymooning and all that jazz, so I'm going on my own little romantic get-a-way...... with my parents. WOMP WOMP. haha No really, I am incredibly excited. I've never been to Hawaii, but I have heard that it is beautiful. Plus, one of my favorite ways to travel is with the folks. Can we say all expense paid vacation?? I'm incredibly blessed to be a beach bum not once, but twice in the next couple of months. Ahhh... paradise awaits. AND I'm pretty excited about attending my first luau and getting "lei-d". bwahaha.

6. OPTOMETRY SCHOOL!!! It's becoming real to me as of late that I will be a freakin optometry student in 6 months. As of now, I am beyond excited for all of it. New people, new school, lectures, lab.... EVERYTHING. Bet your bottom dollar I sing a different tune around ohhh September when I'm waist deep in more studying than I've ever had in my life and haven't slept in six nights. For now, though, I'm excited about learning & being all intellectual again. Watching Brad hand out roses when I'm not reading US Weekly hardly screams brainiac over here. My brain will probably hurt when it actually has to learn something of substance. BUT Bring. It. On.

My Lists of Four

So, ohhh about a month ago, Memphis Mama tagged me in a post. Considering this is the first time since then that I have even signed on to blogpost (ah, the horror), I am FINALLY getting around to actually completing the list. With that said, here goes nothing....

Four shows that you watch:

1. Desperate Housewives
2. How I Met Your Mother
3. The Bachelor (judge if you must...)
4. The Big Bang Theory

Four things that you are passionate about:

1. making time for my family & friends
2. my faith
3. traveling, both abroad and in the states
4. working towards the goals I have set for myself

Four words and phrases that you use a lot:

1. haha/bahaha/lol (no matter if it's funny or not)
2. HOWEVER,....
3. Dear lord.
4. I'm tired/I'm sleepy/I'm hungry, etc (I just realized I sound like a 4 year old)

Four things that you've learned from the past:

1. It's never as bad as I think it is.
2. Pushing issues under the rug does not make them go away.
3. I'm young. I should stop pushing my life forward and enjoy being young.
4. You can't please everyone, so stop trying.

Four places you would like to go:

1. England
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. Hawaii (crossing off the list in May!)

Four things you did yesterday:

1. Worked ALL DAY
2. ate Pei Wei
3. Watched Boy Meets World
4. Drank only water all day (proud of myself!)

Four things you are looking forward to:

1. Starting a new school and, thus, meeting all new people
2. Cone Family Vacation 2011
3. My Best Friend's Wedding :)
4. Moving (I actually love the whole process... call me weird)

Four things that you love about Winter:

1. Christmas... obviously.
2. Snow (until I have to drive in it)
3. Holiday beverages
4. The feeling a new year brings... fresh start!

Tag four people to play along:

1. Valerie @ Along the Way with V and J
2. Erica @ Eureka's Castle
3. Angela @ Che bella e la vita
4. Amanda @ Your's Truly

Crazy Work Stories

If you are wondering where the crazies were today, wonder no longer... they were at my place of employment. I had multiple situations today that left me with no words. As in, I kind of sat in stunned silence for awhile and pondered how people could possibly be that nutso.

Scenario One:

Phone Rings. A very apparent ghetto-licious woman is on the other line. After trying to piece together her half-English, half-jibber language, I finally figure out that "I be try-in to make a appointment fur nex Saterdey" means "I am trying to schedule an appointment for next Saturday, please." Upon looking at the calendar, I notice that next Saturday happens to be Christmas Day. Thinking that maybe she just didn't realize this fact, I gently reminded her that next Saturday is, in fact, Christmas, and that we would not be open that day. Long story short, this lovely lady begins to tell me that she works a considerable amount, and Christmas is the only day that she has off next week. Shouldn't we be able to work around this so that she may get her eyes examined? As intriguing as the idea is to skip the holidays with my family in order to ensure that Ms. ChristmasisJustAnotherDay sees 20/20 for the new year, I decided to pass.

Scenario Two:

First off, let me defend myself by saying that I am not one of those people who so ignorantly proclaim, "If you are in America, you gotta speak English. We ain't trying to learn Spanish or Chinese or something. You gotta learn English." I believe America is founded on that whole freedom concept for a reason, and while I admit it would be very nice if we all spoke the same language, this is simply not the case. BUT, that's another post entirely. To sum up, please do not think that I am poking fun at the following situation or read deeper into this than how it was intended. It was none other than an amusing part of my day.

Again, phone rings. An Asian woman is on the other line. From this point on, she will be referred to as Person A and I as Person B.

A: "Yes. I try to make appointment for Monday."

B: "I'm sorry ma'am... the first appointment we have next week is actually on Wednesday."

A: "No Monday?"

B. "No, no Monday appointments."

A. "Tuesday?"

B. "No, the first thing we have next week is on Wednesday."

A. "No Tuesday afternoon?"

B. "No, ma'am"

A. "I can't have Monday o Tuesday?"

........... and this goes on for another 5-6 minutes. In case you were curious, she has an appointment on Wednesday.

Scenario Three:

Oh, I saved the best for last! This morning, I had the pleasure of meeting pure testosterone in human form. That's right, ladies and gentleman, what can only be described as Chuck Norris' long lost brother graced me with his presence today. The man comes in and begins to explain to me what he is there for. It is apparent that something is very wrong with his eye. It is very red and bloody. After listening to his story, I learn that he had made a trip to the emergency room because of a piece of metal that had been lodged in the white part of his eye. They had then referred him out to an optometrist. After asking him all the necessary questions, I come to the last one on the list: "And how long has the piece of metal been in there, Sir?" To which he replied: "Five Days." Five Days. Five Freakin' Days. I guess I looked a little shocked by his answer because he quickly defended himself with "Ma'am, I'm a man. A real man's man. I'm hard headed and don't nothing get in the way of me and my deer hunting." Ohhhhh, okkkkk. I then entertained myself for the rest of the day with various Chuck Norris jokes that could be extracted from the situation. Because don't you know... Chuck Norris laughs at the idea of metal in his eye. Chuck Norris is physically unable to be physically unable.

Nothing like a little comical relief to get you through the work day. Here's hoping tomorrow is a little more sane, though!

Christmas Shopping for Dummies

I'll admit it. I am not good at Christmas shopping. I envy those people who can go to the mall for an afternoon & come home with all their Christmas shopping finished. I am the exact opposite. Around mid-Novemeber, I begin the grueling process. Step one is always deciding what in the world to get these special people in my life. Ideas are tossed about in my head, only to be over-analyzed and shot down as quickly as they appear. After a couple of weeks of this happening, I begin to grasp at straws. This always leaves me to hit up the tried & true: google. At this point, I can be found typing such things as "Gift ideas for moms" or "What to get a 20 something year old girl for Christmas?" into the search bar....as if some google god will magically feel pity for me and the gift that I have been looking for will instantly appear. Let me tell you.... that never happens. Instead, I am forced to beg my friends and family with this repeated question: "Can you pleaseeee tell me what you want?!?" However, if your friends & family are anything like mine, this is the answer I get: "Oh, I don't know. I don't really need anything. Just surprise me."

Just surprise me. I despise this answer. While I understand that this is the whole point of getting gifts for people, it still puts me right back to where I started. This is where I am now. I have a thousand ideas swirling around in my head, but I haven't exactly executed the plans yet.... and it's December 11th. Awesome. Due to my tardiness, I am pretty much restricted to purchasing things in store as opposed to online due to the lovely amount of shipping days that get tacked on this time of year. After work today, I will be joining the throngs of people at Wolfchase in an attempt to find those perfects gifts while managing to stay at least partially in my ever-so-shrinking budget. Oh boy, oh boy.... Here goes nothing....

Give Thanks.

I've been MIA lately. I blame it on the amount of food, family, and shopping that took place the last few days. I swear that I blinked my eyes and a week had passed. I feel like my life is flyinggg by lately. It's sort of scary. I'm beginning to sound like an old lady saying, "I feel like it was just yesterday that.... blah, blah, blah."

In honor of the big event that led to my food coma last week, I have been thinking a lot recently of all that I have to be thankful for this year, both big and small. Allow me to share.....

- free time. (I have more downtime right now than I have ever had in my entire life. In fact, there is zero stress in my life right now, and it's a strange feeling. There is no test to study for, no anticipation of what I will do in the future, no relationship to pick apart.... it's all just very chill. I do what I want when I want. I'm trying to cherish it for I will probably never have it again).

- my health.

- my parents, extended family, and friends

- my roomate, Valerie (special shoutout to the one who puts up with me on a day to day basis. We have lived together for almost 4 years now, and I recently have had to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up, getting married, and living with him instead of me. haha I really want to try to live up the next few months and not take for granted having her be there all the time!)

- Highpoint Church (helped me in more than one way this year. Every service I attend brings me one step closer to the person that I want to be. In addition, I met some pretty amazing people through a class I attended this year. SO glad that this place has come into my life, and I look forward to becoming even more involved here!)

- Acceptance to Optometry School

- The Little Things: Neutrogena Intense Moisturizing Cream, cheesecake, Harry Potter, Carmex, cardigans, gap skinny jeans, christmas lights, John Mayer, bronzer, cold weather, random acts of kindness, holiday beverages, Diet Mountain Dew, Amy's frozen meals, cupcakes, Cut the Rope, and, of course, Christmas movies. You know, the important things in life....

The Last Few Days....

Here are some things that have been striking my fancy this week:

1. Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows

Oh, the long-awaited movie is finally here. Book 7: Part 1 has finally made its way to a movie theater near you... or it will be as of 12:01 am thursday night (or rather Friday morning?). While I will probably not be attending the midnight showing amongst all of the hard-core groupies, (think teenagers & twenty somethings all donned up in their lightning bolt scars, wizardly robes, broomsticks, and wands. oh what a sight to behold) I will most definitely be there excited as ever at normal-people time this weekend. In fact, to honor the occasion and to make sure that I am as well-prepared as possible, I have given myself the daunting task of re-reading the entire 7th book in a matter of a few days time. I WILL finish this thing. Oh, and the inner 12 year old inside of me is so ready for the Hermione/Ron big kiss, as well as a little steamy action from Harry & Ginny. OH BOY. Scandalous.

2. Memphis Basketball

I am so pumped up about this season! Few things get me more excited than Memphis basketball!!!! I just feel like the city is transformed from the months of November - March. It's amazing how much we come together to support this team every single year. I stand behind the fact that we have the best fans in the country. I'm ready to see all of the new talent that we have this year in action. The season really kicked off last night with the 11:00 pm ESPN game against Miami. Talk about a heart attack game... The Tigers really scared me (enough to stay up until 1:30 am to watch the game on a work night. and that's saying something)

3. Gossip Girl on DVD

Spotted: Fallon spending all her free time when not consumed by Harry Potter, Memphis basketball, or pesky work catching up on every single episode there ever was of Gossip Girl starting with Season 1. Yes, I am now team Chuck & Blair. I seriously cannot get enough of the tales of the rich and dramaful. In fact, I am now narrating my own life and concluding it with the phrase, XOXO, Gossip Girl. Pathetic, yes? If only I had Serena or Blair's wardrobe, I would be one happy, happy girl.

4. GLEE Christmas Soundtrack:
Be still my beating heart! Two of my greatest loves, Glee and Christmas, are joining forces to spread holiday cheer to everyone. I downloaded the album today. If you too desire to have visions of sugar plums dance in your head, you should probably do the same.

5. Avocados

Random, no? And, yes, I did just provide you with a clip art picture of an avocado. I wanted you to get the full effect. I recently re-kindled my love of avocados the past few days as well. In fact, I have eaten two today. It hands down wins favorite food of the week.

As you can see, I've been super busy the last few days.... Oh, what a stressed out life I am leading... I hope I can keep it together...... :)

I accomplished something major this week...

What you ask?

Well, I managed to not eat out a single meal the entire week... not even Starbucks for coffee. To an ordinary penny pincher, this might not be a big deal. But to this girl? Oh, it's huge. Last Sunday, I prepared a list and went to the grocery store with a goal in mind. This time, I would not get my usual frozen meals, chips, diet mountain dew, sandwich fixings, and various plethora of desserts. This time, I was going to get lots of fruits and veggies and actually venture over to the produce side of Kroger to spend some time there. I returned with blueberries, strawberries, peaches, red potatoes, squash, green beans, rice, etc. I was ready to rollllll.

Armed with my fresh (ok, it's Kroger so let's say semi-fresh) produce, I managed to cook dinner for myself every single night this week. It wasn't anything special, but this is leaps and bounds for me. The stove and I are not familiar friends. I blame it on the mindset of what's the point of cooking for one? Regardless though, I managed to grill squash, bake potatoes, saute mushrooms, and even grill some chicken after firing some questions at Valerie. "Do I need to Pam this? Does this look done? Are you sure? Am I going to get salmonella?"

Lo and behold though... at the end of my five days of consuming only home cooked meals and water, I am down 3 lbs.... in FIVE DAYS... with no exercising.... Holy Mother of Pearl. I think I might be on to something.... Therefore, I am going to keep it up, only hopefully incorporating some gym time in there as well. I might be turning over a new leaf ladies & gentlemen... a skinny leaf. bwahaha.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

First off, I am well aware that the post below me is funky. I have no idea what happened. I tried to do it on my phone which I will never do again. It shows up just perfect on my safari on my phone but obviously it looks like a jumbled, weird mess on a real computer... Sometime I will get around to fixing it. lesson learned.

Second off, I need some help. I have a REALLY big decision coming my way in terms of school choice. As in, where will I spend the next 4 years of my life? I've surprised even myself & narrowed it down to two. Memphis or Philadelphia. Here are the pros and cons that I can think of.... feel free to chime in with others.

Memphis Pros/Philly Cons:
1 & 2. Close to family/friends. I would not be ok with being that many miles away if something happened to anyone I loved. I would also not like being able to see my loved ones only on holidays. I have never gone over three or so weeks without seeing my parents and the thought of having to do that scares me...so much so that I should probably count this one twice... so I just did.
3. I know the area very well. It would be a thousand times easier to find an apartment and work out the living situation.
4. Due to the amount of money I am saving being in state, I could live in a better place... like downtown or mud island... both extrememly nice choices.
5. Southern College of Optometry in Memphis has a reputation of being a very great school and a reputation of being harder to get into than Philly.
6. Networking - Where you go to school is where your network is. If I go to Memphis, I could have some job leads here. If I go to Philly, they will most likely be in the North.... which may or may not be a bad thing.....
7. So far, I like the faculty and staff at Memphis better. Not sure if I can really base this on three or four folks though....

Philly Pros/Memphis Cons:
1. & 2. The most obvious... I am out of memphis!! I get the chance to experience another city & another part of the country. I might never have this chance again. Will I regret it forever if I never leave Memphis? The thought freaks me out... so I'll count it twice.
3. The area in and around the school - Memphis = homeless/ghetto central.....Philly = lovely residential area.
4. New people & the chance to start over.... Don't get me wrong, I love my friends & don't know what I would do without them. They complete me. HOWEVER, most of them are moving on & doing their own thing... marriage, kids, moving away, etc. I'm scared of getting left behind in the dust. If I went to Philly, I would feel like I'm doing my own thing. and who doesn't like the chance of starting completely over... clean slate and all?
5. Philly is a train ride away from New York City, Atlantic City, Washinton D.C., Boston, Pittsburgh, and I could go on and on. This fact speaks for itself.

That's really all I got.... I realize that Memphis has two more pros than Philadelphia....But in my mind, that's not enough to write off the idea of moving away. I'm scared I would regret it either way... no matter what I do. I need a therapist. Someone that will listen to me ramble on and on, and then tell me that my subconcious screams that I should go to one or the other. I'm praying about it so I hope I get some kind of sign soon. I have to decide by Christmas. Someone help.

"don't you worry 'bout a thing"

I've been doing a lot of soul searching the last few days. It all started last weekend when I was at my parent's house. I went to church with them, and towards the end of the service, one of the women that I know in the church went forward to talk with the preacher. This woman was a student teacher in my 5th grade class... I always admired her because of her upbeat attitude. Well, after the invitation was over, it was announced that she had just found out that she had leukemia and would be seeking treatment over the coming weeks. I can't describe what came over me at this time. At first, I was just in shock... Even though I'm not extrememly close with this person, it still hits home. This is a wonderful teacher with a toddler and a baby at home... Why should this be happening to her? Then, I took note of how she was acting. Not once throughout the "im so sorry" or "we're praying for you" well wishes did she lose control of her emotions. She looked so positive the entire time, smiling and thanking everyone. I even saw her at the local Mexican restaurant after church just eating and hanging out with her family. I was just in awe. Most people, including myself, would be so overcome with sorrow about this horrible turn of events that they would wallow in self pity at home... at least for a little while. Yet, here she was carrying on her day to day tasks like all was right in the world. Now, I'm not so naive as to think that she hasn't mourned this in any way. Regardless, though, you can tell that she is not going to let this ruin her life... or even her day.

Thinking about this made me feel ashamed at the way I lead my life. I'm a huge worry wort. I over analyze everything, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of a pessimist. What's awful is that I have absolutely no reason to be. I have the most supportive family, loyal friends, a great job, the ability to pursue my career dreams... I am literally overwhelmed with the amount of blessings that have been bestowed upon me. Therefore, I have been trying to make a conscious effort lately to stop, take a few minutes out of my day, and thank God for all that he has given me. I was reading my Bible this morning and came upon this verse: "If you make the Most High your dwelling then no harm will befall you." It's an amazing thought - to know that someone constantly has their hand upon you. There is always a bigger plan for your life than you see. I need to learn to turn everything in my life over to God, even the little things. That's something I want to change in my life... I want to be more carefree. So, I'm working on it. In the meantime, take some time out of your day and say a little prayer for the strong, amazing woman that will probably never know just how much she inspired me.

Happy Hump Day!

This past weekend, I ventured to Selmer to see my family and my high school friends. The majority of my friends are still in college/grad school & this just happened to be fall break for everyone, so it was a great reunion. I looooved high school. I had a really, tight-knit group of friends that literally did everything together. It's amazing that four years later we can still get together & pick up exactly where we left off.....

Everytime I leave Selmer after a weekend like I just had, I always end up reminiscing about the good ol' days when I had absolutely nothing to worry about besides some boy I liked or where to go after the football game on friday. Due to my reminiscing, I caught myself looking at some photos from high school and thought I would share....

The Boys - Senior Trip '06

My Cary..Love this kid!

Lindsay - high school best friend :)
Almost the whole crew... gotta love prom pics!

BFFs since age 2 and still going strong....Love Karen!

Hope everyone has a safe & spooky HaLLoWeeN weekend!

Defying Gravity

I love the The Orpheum. There is just something about getting all dressed up and going into this building that gets me all excited. This past Saturday, I third-wheeled it with the parents to see Wicked. Let me start off by saying that I have wanted to see Wicked for like four years now. When I was in NYC my senior year of high school, it was on Broadway at that time and there were billboards EVERYWHERE advertising the show. At the time, I had no idea what it was even about. However, you can bet your bottom dollar that I googled it as soon as I got home (no iPhones to help with a quick google question back then). I was so interested to learn that it was a spin-off of the Wizard of Oz because I have loooveddd the story of ol' Dorothy since I was little... even though the munchkins used to scare the bejesus out of me. Anyways, fast forward to four years later, and I can finally say that I have seen Wicked.

It was everything that I hoped it would be. I have never laughed out loud in a Broadway show as much as I did with this one! AND, I love that I knew most of the songs prior to going... although I'm fairly certain my parents and the people around me certainly wish that I had not. My absolute favorite is Defying Gravity, which is the namesake of this post. I just love the lyrics and the moment when Elphaba and Glinda are singing this together. It is just so powerful, for lack of a better word. My favorite line:

"I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change but till I try, I'll never know. Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost. Well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost. I'd sooner buy defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye. I'm defying gravity.And you can't pull me down!

All in all, great night and great show! I highly recommend!

I be up in the gym just working on my fitness... well not really.

I have a problem. My problem is that I am totally, most assuredly, without a doubt unhappy with my weight. There's no denying that I could stand to lose a few pounds... and by a few, I mean like 50 lbs. I have struggled with the lose weight, gain weight fiasco ever since I started college. However, I always blamed the fact that I couldn't hit the gym regularly on the strenuous schedule that I tried to keep up. It is not easy balancing classes like organic chemistry, biochem, and anatomy with 25 hours at work and a sorority that is guaranteed to have at least 4 activities to attend during the week. That was my excuse anyway. But now, here I am, nothing to do except work, and I have created new excuses for myself. Well, I am sick and tired of claiming that I am too sick or too tired to hit the gym. I have a new-found pact with myself that I will at least do something physical every, single day. Whether it be a class at the gym (there's a lot I really want to try like Zumba, kickboxing, core ball, etc), the elliptical, or even just a walk outside, I HAVE to do something.

The biggest struggle I have, though, is with food. I don't mean that I take a bag of Cheetos, a 2 liter, and a box of cookies and gorge out on the couch. I definitely do not do that. My biggest problem is that I eat out entirely too much and that I, well, basically just love food. One of my favorite pastimes is going to a restaurant with friends... without a doubt. AND at this restaurant, I am usually drawn to what is probably the most calorie-packed item on the menu. Extra cheese? Don't mind if I do! Or....... Chocolate molten cake? Well the meal wouldn't be complete without it! Yea, you get my drift..... I recognize that I need to make a change. I need to learn to rewire my brain to think that grilled chicken breast with a side of broccoli is what I really want. (HA! yea right). Regardless, though, I have in my mind now that I need to make these adjustments in my everyday life, and when I have a goal in mind that I really want to accomplish, I am usually pretty driven to complete it. That's the plan at least.... I am so tired of comparing myself to other people and hating how I look in every picture that I take. I am starting a new challenging phase in my life next year, and I want to start it by being the healthiest version of myself that I can be. Therefore, by the time I start school next year, wherever that may be, I want to be at my goal weight. AND I am starting today!!

Dr. Cone

Nice ring to it? Hope so... BECAUSE I GOT INTO OPTOMETRY SCHOOL and that is what I will be known as in 4 1/2 years (that is to say that I don't flunk out or something tragic doesn't happen but I'm thinking positive! Just in case, I just knocked on wood). I'm on cloud nine to say the least. This is the only goal that I have ever had for myself besides marraige and children and who would have thought that the latter would be the harder one? haha. I traveled down to Ft. Lauderdale on Tuesday of this week, had my interview on Wednesday, and was accepted on Thursday. It was such a quick process, but it was sooo exciting! It is such a relief to know that this is actually happening. I DID NOT want to sit out another year twiddling my thumbs waiting for this to happen so it is such a blessing that I am now officially on my way to a career. I finally feel like I am not a worthless blob with no school or activities to attend to. Well, I take that back... currently, I am still a worthless blob... BUT, a worthless blob who is headed to optometry school next year!! I applied to other schools in addition to the one in Florida. Therefore, I definitely don't want to turn my back on any other opportunities just yet. I want to be confident in wherever I go to school because, after all, I will be there for the next 4 years of my life. Regardless, I will be somewhere! So, YAYYYY!