Crazy Work Stories

If you are wondering where the crazies were today, wonder no longer... they were at my place of employment. I had multiple situations today that left me with no words. As in, I kind of sat in stunned silence for awhile and pondered how people could possibly be that nutso.

Scenario One:

Phone Rings. A very apparent ghetto-licious woman is on the other line. After trying to piece together her half-English, half-jibber language, I finally figure out that "I be try-in to make a appointment fur nex Saterdey" means "I am trying to schedule an appointment for next Saturday, please." Upon looking at the calendar, I notice that next Saturday happens to be Christmas Day. Thinking that maybe she just didn't realize this fact, I gently reminded her that next Saturday is, in fact, Christmas, and that we would not be open that day. Long story short, this lovely lady begins to tell me that she works a considerable amount, and Christmas is the only day that she has off next week. Shouldn't we be able to work around this so that she may get her eyes examined? As intriguing as the idea is to skip the holidays with my family in order to ensure that Ms. ChristmasisJustAnotherDay sees 20/20 for the new year, I decided to pass.

Scenario Two:

First off, let me defend myself by saying that I am not one of those people who so ignorantly proclaim, "If you are in America, you gotta speak English. We ain't trying to learn Spanish or Chinese or something. You gotta learn English." I believe America is founded on that whole freedom concept for a reason, and while I admit it would be very nice if we all spoke the same language, this is simply not the case. BUT, that's another post entirely. To sum up, please do not think that I am poking fun at the following situation or read deeper into this than how it was intended. It was none other than an amusing part of my day.

Again, phone rings. An Asian woman is on the other line. From this point on, she will be referred to as Person A and I as Person B.

A: "Yes. I try to make appointment for Monday."

B: "I'm sorry ma'am... the first appointment we have next week is actually on Wednesday."

A: "No Monday?"

B. "No, no Monday appointments."

A. "Tuesday?"

B. "No, the first thing we have next week is on Wednesday."

A. "No Tuesday afternoon?"

B. "No, ma'am"

A. "I can't have Monday o Tuesday?"

........... and this goes on for another 5-6 minutes. In case you were curious, she has an appointment on Wednesday.

Scenario Three:

Oh, I saved the best for last! This morning, I had the pleasure of meeting pure testosterone in human form. That's right, ladies and gentleman, what can only be described as Chuck Norris' long lost brother graced me with his presence today. The man comes in and begins to explain to me what he is there for. It is apparent that something is very wrong with his eye. It is very red and bloody. After listening to his story, I learn that he had made a trip to the emergency room because of a piece of metal that had been lodged in the white part of his eye. They had then referred him out to an optometrist. After asking him all the necessary questions, I come to the last one on the list: "And how long has the piece of metal been in there, Sir?" To which he replied: "Five Days." Five Days. Five Freakin' Days. I guess I looked a little shocked by his answer because he quickly defended himself with "Ma'am, I'm a man. A real man's man. I'm hard headed and don't nothing get in the way of me and my deer hunting." Ohhhhh, okkkkk. I then entertained myself for the rest of the day with various Chuck Norris jokes that could be extracted from the situation. Because don't you know... Chuck Norris laughs at the idea of metal in his eye. Chuck Norris is physically unable to be physically unable.

Nothing like a little comical relief to get you through the work day. Here's hoping tomorrow is a little more sane, though!

Christmas Shopping for Dummies

I'll admit it. I am not good at Christmas shopping. I envy those people who can go to the mall for an afternoon & come home with all their Christmas shopping finished. I am the exact opposite. Around mid-Novemeber, I begin the grueling process. Step one is always deciding what in the world to get these special people in my life. Ideas are tossed about in my head, only to be over-analyzed and shot down as quickly as they appear. After a couple of weeks of this happening, I begin to grasp at straws. This always leaves me to hit up the tried & true: google. At this point, I can be found typing such things as "Gift ideas for moms" or "What to get a 20 something year old girl for Christmas?" into the search bar....as if some google god will magically feel pity for me and the gift that I have been looking for will instantly appear. Let me tell you.... that never happens. Instead, I am forced to beg my friends and family with this repeated question: "Can you pleaseeee tell me what you want?!?" However, if your friends & family are anything like mine, this is the answer I get: "Oh, I don't know. I don't really need anything. Just surprise me."

Just surprise me. I despise this answer. While I understand that this is the whole point of getting gifts for people, it still puts me right back to where I started. This is where I am now. I have a thousand ideas swirling around in my head, but I haven't exactly executed the plans yet.... and it's December 11th. Awesome. Due to my tardiness, I am pretty much restricted to purchasing things in store as opposed to online due to the lovely amount of shipping days that get tacked on this time of year. After work today, I will be joining the throngs of people at Wolfchase in an attempt to find those perfects gifts while managing to stay at least partially in my ever-so-shrinking budget. Oh boy, oh boy.... Here goes nothing....

Give Thanks.

I've been MIA lately. I blame it on the amount of food, family, and shopping that took place the last few days. I swear that I blinked my eyes and a week had passed. I feel like my life is flyinggg by lately. It's sort of scary. I'm beginning to sound like an old lady saying, "I feel like it was just yesterday that.... blah, blah, blah."

In honor of the big event that led to my food coma last week, I have been thinking a lot recently of all that I have to be thankful for this year, both big and small. Allow me to share.....

- free time. (I have more downtime right now than I have ever had in my entire life. In fact, there is zero stress in my life right now, and it's a strange feeling. There is no test to study for, no anticipation of what I will do in the future, no relationship to pick apart.... it's all just very chill. I do what I want when I want. I'm trying to cherish it for I will probably never have it again).

- my health.

- my parents, extended family, and friends

- my roomate, Valerie (special shoutout to the one who puts up with me on a day to day basis. We have lived together for almost 4 years now, and I recently have had to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up, getting married, and living with him instead of me. haha I really want to try to live up the next few months and not take for granted having her be there all the time!)

- Highpoint Church (helped me in more than one way this year. Every service I attend brings me one step closer to the person that I want to be. In addition, I met some pretty amazing people through a class I attended this year. SO glad that this place has come into my life, and I look forward to becoming even more involved here!)

- Acceptance to Optometry School

- The Little Things: Neutrogena Intense Moisturizing Cream, cheesecake, Harry Potter, Carmex, cardigans, gap skinny jeans, christmas lights, John Mayer, bronzer, cold weather, random acts of kindness, holiday beverages, Diet Mountain Dew, Amy's frozen meals, cupcakes, Cut the Rope, and, of course, Christmas movies. You know, the important things in life....

The Last Few Days....

Here are some things that have been striking my fancy this week:

1. Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows

Oh, the long-awaited movie is finally here. Book 7: Part 1 has finally made its way to a movie theater near you... or it will be as of 12:01 am thursday night (or rather Friday morning?). While I will probably not be attending the midnight showing amongst all of the hard-core groupies, (think teenagers & twenty somethings all donned up in their lightning bolt scars, wizardly robes, broomsticks, and wands. oh what a sight to behold) I will most definitely be there excited as ever at normal-people time this weekend. In fact, to honor the occasion and to make sure that I am as well-prepared as possible, I have given myself the daunting task of re-reading the entire 7th book in a matter of a few days time. I WILL finish this thing. Oh, and the inner 12 year old inside of me is so ready for the Hermione/Ron big kiss, as well as a little steamy action from Harry & Ginny. OH BOY. Scandalous.

2. Memphis Basketball

I am so pumped up about this season! Few things get me more excited than Memphis basketball!!!! I just feel like the city is transformed from the months of November - March. It's amazing how much we come together to support this team every single year. I stand behind the fact that we have the best fans in the country. I'm ready to see all of the new talent that we have this year in action. The season really kicked off last night with the 11:00 pm ESPN game against Miami. Talk about a heart attack game... The Tigers really scared me (enough to stay up until 1:30 am to watch the game on a work night. and that's saying something)

3. Gossip Girl on DVD

Spotted: Fallon spending all her free time when not consumed by Harry Potter, Memphis basketball, or pesky work catching up on every single episode there ever was of Gossip Girl starting with Season 1. Yes, I am now team Chuck & Blair. I seriously cannot get enough of the tales of the rich and dramaful. In fact, I am now narrating my own life and concluding it with the phrase, XOXO, Gossip Girl. Pathetic, yes? If only I had Serena or Blair's wardrobe, I would be one happy, happy girl.

4. GLEE Christmas Soundtrack:
Be still my beating heart! Two of my greatest loves, Glee and Christmas, are joining forces to spread holiday cheer to everyone. I downloaded the album today. If you too desire to have visions of sugar plums dance in your head, you should probably do the same.

5. Avocados

Random, no? And, yes, I did just provide you with a clip art picture of an avocado. I wanted you to get the full effect. I recently re-kindled my love of avocados the past few days as well. In fact, I have eaten two today. It hands down wins favorite food of the week.

As you can see, I've been super busy the last few days.... Oh, what a stressed out life I am leading... I hope I can keep it together...... :)

I accomplished something major this week...

What you ask?

Well, I managed to not eat out a single meal the entire week... not even Starbucks for coffee. To an ordinary penny pincher, this might not be a big deal. But to this girl? Oh, it's huge. Last Sunday, I prepared a list and went to the grocery store with a goal in mind. This time, I would not get my usual frozen meals, chips, diet mountain dew, sandwich fixings, and various plethora of desserts. This time, I was going to get lots of fruits and veggies and actually venture over to the produce side of Kroger to spend some time there. I returned with blueberries, strawberries, peaches, red potatoes, squash, green beans, rice, etc. I was ready to rollllll.

Armed with my fresh (ok, it's Kroger so let's say semi-fresh) produce, I managed to cook dinner for myself every single night this week. It wasn't anything special, but this is leaps and bounds for me. The stove and I are not familiar friends. I blame it on the mindset of what's the point of cooking for one? Regardless though, I managed to grill squash, bake potatoes, saute mushrooms, and even grill some chicken after firing some questions at Valerie. "Do I need to Pam this? Does this look done? Are you sure? Am I going to get salmonella?"

Lo and behold though... at the end of my five days of consuming only home cooked meals and water, I am down 3 lbs.... in FIVE DAYS... with no exercising.... Holy Mother of Pearl. I think I might be on to something.... Therefore, I am going to keep it up, only hopefully incorporating some gym time in there as well. I might be turning over a new leaf ladies & gentlemen... a skinny leaf. bwahaha.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

First off, I am well aware that the post below me is funky. I have no idea what happened. I tried to do it on my phone which I will never do again. It shows up just perfect on my safari on my phone but obviously it looks like a jumbled, weird mess on a real computer... Sometime I will get around to fixing it. lesson learned.

Second off, I need some help. I have a REALLY big decision coming my way in terms of school choice. As in, where will I spend the next 4 years of my life? I've surprised even myself & narrowed it down to two. Memphis or Philadelphia. Here are the pros and cons that I can think of.... feel free to chime in with others.

Memphis Pros/Philly Cons:
1 & 2. Close to family/friends. I would not be ok with being that many miles away if something happened to anyone I loved. I would also not like being able to see my loved ones only on holidays. I have never gone over three or so weeks without seeing my parents and the thought of having to do that scares me...so much so that I should probably count this one twice... so I just did.
3. I know the area very well. It would be a thousand times easier to find an apartment and work out the living situation.
4. Due to the amount of money I am saving being in state, I could live in a better place... like downtown or mud island... both extrememly nice choices.
5. Southern College of Optometry in Memphis has a reputation of being a very great school and a reputation of being harder to get into than Philly.
6. Networking - Where you go to school is where your network is. If I go to Memphis, I could have some job leads here. If I go to Philly, they will most likely be in the North.... which may or may not be a bad thing.....
7. So far, I like the faculty and staff at Memphis better. Not sure if I can really base this on three or four folks though....

Philly Pros/Memphis Cons:
1. & 2. The most obvious... I am out of memphis!! I get the chance to experience another city & another part of the country. I might never have this chance again. Will I regret it forever if I never leave Memphis? The thought freaks me out... so I'll count it twice.
3. The area in and around the school - Memphis = homeless/ghetto central.....Philly = lovely residential area.
4. New people & the chance to start over.... Don't get me wrong, I love my friends & don't know what I would do without them. They complete me. HOWEVER, most of them are moving on & doing their own thing... marriage, kids, moving away, etc. I'm scared of getting left behind in the dust. If I went to Philly, I would feel like I'm doing my own thing. and who doesn't like the chance of starting completely over... clean slate and all?
5. Philly is a train ride away from New York City, Atlantic City, Washinton D.C., Boston, Pittsburgh, and I could go on and on. This fact speaks for itself.

That's really all I got.... I realize that Memphis has two more pros than Philadelphia....But in my mind, that's not enough to write off the idea of moving away. I'm scared I would regret it either way... no matter what I do. I need a therapist. Someone that will listen to me ramble on and on, and then tell me that my subconcious screams that I should go to one or the other. I'm praying about it so I hope I get some kind of sign soon. I have to decide by Christmas. Someone help.

"don't you worry 'bout a thing"

I've been doing a lot of soul searching the last few days. It all started last weekend when I was at my parent's house. I went to church with them, and towards the end of the service, one of the women that I know in the church went forward to talk with the preacher. This woman was a student teacher in my 5th grade class... I always admired her because of her upbeat attitude. Well, after the invitation was over, it was announced that she had just found out that she had leukemia and would be seeking treatment over the coming weeks. I can't describe what came over me at this time. At first, I was just in shock... Even though I'm not extrememly close with this person, it still hits home. This is a wonderful teacher with a toddler and a baby at home... Why should this be happening to her? Then, I took note of how she was acting. Not once throughout the "im so sorry" or "we're praying for you" well wishes did she lose control of her emotions. She looked so positive the entire time, smiling and thanking everyone. I even saw her at the local Mexican restaurant after church just eating and hanging out with her family. I was just in awe. Most people, including myself, would be so overcome with sorrow about this horrible turn of events that they would wallow in self pity at home... at least for a little while. Yet, here she was carrying on her day to day tasks like all was right in the world. Now, I'm not so naive as to think that she hasn't mourned this in any way. Regardless, though, you can tell that she is not going to let this ruin her life... or even her day.

Thinking about this made me feel ashamed at the way I lead my life. I'm a huge worry wort. I over analyze everything, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of a pessimist. What's awful is that I have absolutely no reason to be. I have the most supportive family, loyal friends, a great job, the ability to pursue my career dreams... I am literally overwhelmed with the amount of blessings that have been bestowed upon me. Therefore, I have been trying to make a conscious effort lately to stop, take a few minutes out of my day, and thank God for all that he has given me. I was reading my Bible this morning and came upon this verse: "If you make the Most High your dwelling then no harm will befall you." It's an amazing thought - to know that someone constantly has their hand upon you. There is always a bigger plan for your life than you see. I need to learn to turn everything in my life over to God, even the little things. That's something I want to change in my life... I want to be more carefree. So, I'm working on it. In the meantime, take some time out of your day and say a little prayer for the strong, amazing woman that will probably never know just how much she inspired me.