Crazy Work Stories

If you are wondering where the crazies were today, wonder no longer... they were at my place of employment. I had multiple situations today that left me with no words. As in, I kind of sat in stunned silence for awhile and pondered how people could possibly be that nutso.

Scenario One:

Phone Rings. A very apparent ghetto-licious woman is on the other line. After trying to piece together her half-English, half-jibber language, I finally figure out that "I be try-in to make a appointment fur nex Saterdey" means "I am trying to schedule an appointment for next Saturday, please." Upon looking at the calendar, I notice that next Saturday happens to be Christmas Day. Thinking that maybe she just didn't realize this fact, I gently reminded her that next Saturday is, in fact, Christmas, and that we would not be open that day. Long story short, this lovely lady begins to tell me that she works a considerable amount, and Christmas is the only day that she has off next week. Shouldn't we be able to work around this so that she may get her eyes examined? As intriguing as the idea is to skip the holidays with my family in order to ensure that Ms. ChristmasisJustAnotherDay sees 20/20 for the new year, I decided to pass.

Scenario Two:

First off, let me defend myself by saying that I am not one of those people who so ignorantly proclaim, "If you are in America, you gotta speak English. We ain't trying to learn Spanish or Chinese or something. You gotta learn English." I believe America is founded on that whole freedom concept for a reason, and while I admit it would be very nice if we all spoke the same language, this is simply not the case. BUT, that's another post entirely. To sum up, please do not think that I am poking fun at the following situation or read deeper into this than how it was intended. It was none other than an amusing part of my day.

Again, phone rings. An Asian woman is on the other line. From this point on, she will be referred to as Person A and I as Person B.

A: "Yes. I try to make appointment for Monday."

B: "I'm sorry ma'am... the first appointment we have next week is actually on Wednesday."

A: "No Monday?"

B. "No, no Monday appointments."

A. "Tuesday?"

B. "No, the first thing we have next week is on Wednesday."

A. "No Tuesday afternoon?"

B. "No, ma'am"

A. "I can't have Monday o Tuesday?"

........... and this goes on for another 5-6 minutes. In case you were curious, she has an appointment on Wednesday.

Scenario Three:

Oh, I saved the best for last! This morning, I had the pleasure of meeting pure testosterone in human form. That's right, ladies and gentleman, what can only be described as Chuck Norris' long lost brother graced me with his presence today. The man comes in and begins to explain to me what he is there for. It is apparent that something is very wrong with his eye. It is very red and bloody. After listening to his story, I learn that he had made a trip to the emergency room because of a piece of metal that had been lodged in the white part of his eye. They had then referred him out to an optometrist. After asking him all the necessary questions, I come to the last one on the list: "And how long has the piece of metal been in there, Sir?" To which he replied: "Five Days." Five Days. Five Freakin' Days. I guess I looked a little shocked by his answer because he quickly defended himself with "Ma'am, I'm a man. A real man's man. I'm hard headed and don't nothing get in the way of me and my deer hunting." Ohhhhh, okkkkk. I then entertained myself for the rest of the day with various Chuck Norris jokes that could be extracted from the situation. Because don't you know... Chuck Norris laughs at the idea of metal in his eye. Chuck Norris is physically unable to be physically unable.

Nothing like a little comical relief to get you through the work day. Here's hoping tomorrow is a little more sane, though!

Christmas Shopping for Dummies

I'll admit it. I am not good at Christmas shopping. I envy those people who can go to the mall for an afternoon & come home with all their Christmas shopping finished. I am the exact opposite. Around mid-Novemeber, I begin the grueling process. Step one is always deciding what in the world to get these special people in my life. Ideas are tossed about in my head, only to be over-analyzed and shot down as quickly as they appear. After a couple of weeks of this happening, I begin to grasp at straws. This always leaves me to hit up the tried & true: google. At this point, I can be found typing such things as "Gift ideas for moms" or "What to get a 20 something year old girl for Christmas?" into the search bar....as if some google god will magically feel pity for me and the gift that I have been looking for will instantly appear. Let me tell you.... that never happens. Instead, I am forced to beg my friends and family with this repeated question: "Can you pleaseeee tell me what you want?!?" However, if your friends & family are anything like mine, this is the answer I get: "Oh, I don't know. I don't really need anything. Just surprise me."

Just surprise me. I despise this answer. While I understand that this is the whole point of getting gifts for people, it still puts me right back to where I started. This is where I am now. I have a thousand ideas swirling around in my head, but I haven't exactly executed the plans yet.... and it's December 11th. Awesome. Due to my tardiness, I am pretty much restricted to purchasing things in store as opposed to online due to the lovely amount of shipping days that get tacked on this time of year. After work today, I will be joining the throngs of people at Wolfchase in an attempt to find those perfects gifts while managing to stay at least partially in my ever-so-shrinking budget. Oh boy, oh boy.... Here goes nothing....

Give Thanks.

I've been MIA lately. I blame it on the amount of food, family, and shopping that took place the last few days. I swear that I blinked my eyes and a week had passed. I feel like my life is flyinggg by lately. It's sort of scary. I'm beginning to sound like an old lady saying, "I feel like it was just yesterday that.... blah, blah, blah."

In honor of the big event that led to my food coma last week, I have been thinking a lot recently of all that I have to be thankful for this year, both big and small. Allow me to share.....

- free time. (I have more downtime right now than I have ever had in my entire life. In fact, there is zero stress in my life right now, and it's a strange feeling. There is no test to study for, no anticipation of what I will do in the future, no relationship to pick apart.... it's all just very chill. I do what I want when I want. I'm trying to cherish it for I will probably never have it again).

- my health.

- my parents, extended family, and friends

- my roomate, Valerie (special shoutout to the one who puts up with me on a day to day basis. We have lived together for almost 4 years now, and I recently have had to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up, getting married, and living with him instead of me. haha I really want to try to live up the next few months and not take for granted having her be there all the time!)

- Highpoint Church (helped me in more than one way this year. Every service I attend brings me one step closer to the person that I want to be. In addition, I met some pretty amazing people through a class I attended this year. SO glad that this place has come into my life, and I look forward to becoming even more involved here!)

- Acceptance to Optometry School

- The Little Things: Neutrogena Intense Moisturizing Cream, cheesecake, Harry Potter, Carmex, cardigans, gap skinny jeans, christmas lights, John Mayer, bronzer, cold weather, random acts of kindness, holiday beverages, Diet Mountain Dew, Amy's frozen meals, cupcakes, Cut the Rope, and, of course, Christmas movies. You know, the important things in life....