Good vs. Evil....

I'll admit one thing: I'm a list freak. I wish you knew how often I visit the "productivity" section of the App Store. I have approximately 8 to-do lists apps on my phone, all of which I seem to think I will use at some point. I am also an avid "Healthcare & Fitness" searcher. Why am I telling you all this, you ask? Well, dear, I am telling you this because there is something you should know about me. In my 22 years on this Earth, I keep denying it but it is always there, staring me in the face. As much as I hate to admit it, I am not a follow through-er. I am probably one of the most organized people you will meet in your life.... on paper. If you took a gander inside my iphone right before I go to bed at night, you would find a detailed list of what I am to do the following day, complete with wake-up time, workout time, cleaning time, etc. Take today, for example. Last night before I went to bed, as always, I mentally laid out exactly what I was going to do the following day. I was to wake up at 6:00 a.m, hit the gym for an hour or so, come home, shower, make breakfast, pick up the apartment, and head to work by 8:30 am. That way, after work, I could come home and just chill out and do some laundry while watching the Bachelor Pad. Here is what happened:

6:00 am - ** Alarm Sounds ** After I realize where I am, what day it is, and why I am getting up at this hour, I begin to have a conversation with myself that plays out something like this:

Evil Fallon: "Why the heck would you EVER set your alarm at this hour?!?" Good Fallon: "Well, I thought it would be nice to get a jump start on the day. People always talk about how productive you can be if you get up at a decent hour." Evil Fallon: "Yes, but think about how amazing it would be to sleep for another couple of hours. You can always work out and clean up the apartment tonight.... or even tomorrow." As you can probably imagine, Evil Fallon ALWAYS wins. So, therefore, I re-set my alarm clock for 8:00 am and then literally rushed to get ready and get to work. AND after work? I came home, sat on the couch, and did absolutely nothing with my life.

It always seems to work out like this for me. When I was in school, I always wrote out this nice, detailed study schedule for myself that would allow me plenty of time to finish all my tasks in a respectable amount of time. Did I ever do that? No. Instead, the night before an exam, I could be found in the check out line at Kroger holding a handful of 5 hour energy drinks and enough Mountain Dew to kill a person.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out why I do this to myself? I am a smart girl with a good head of my shoulders! Why do I have no self discipline? Don't even get me started on my work-out schedule.... Unfortunately, that's usually the first thing to go. I do feel like I have an all-out war going on in my head... There's the side of me that wants to be completely lazy and veg out and do nothing with my life, and then there's the side that has the best intentions and wants me to be productive all day every day! All I know is, something's got to give. I have to be one person or the other. I'm about to google how to be a morning person.... that's how desperate I am. I'll report with my findings.....