Oh, Weddings

This past weekend, I attended what can only be considered the first of MANY, MANY weddings down the road. I am finally at that age where all of my friends and classmates will be strapping on the ol' ball and chain and taking the plunge. I'm torn between wanting to be so happy for them and having an out right panic attack. I, myself, am nowhere near marriage. I am entirely too immature, both emotionally and financially, for that sort of thing at this time in my life. In fact, I can't even pay rent without the help of my parents. However, here I am feeling like I missed the bus somewhere that read "destination: marriage and kids." I am only 22 years old...and only a week into 22 at that! Why should I feel like this? I shouldn't. I was thinking about this as I was browsing the internet at work on Monday. I came across this review for a book that caught my eye. I forget what it was called but it talked about the "late bloomers" in marriage and the benefits that they achieved from it. It said that in order to be fully happy with yourself and your future hubby that you have to have a solid relationship with yourself...and that throughout your entire 20s is when most people find this. Well, that made me feel better. I am certain that I am not 100% confident in my own skin, and, on top of that, I haven't achieved everything in life that I want to achieve. I'm still way too selfish to devote myself fully to a family. I have an education to get, places to see, and experiences that i have not yet lived. I'm sure that I will (hopefully!) get there eventually, lord willing and man willing I suppose! ha. In the meantime, I really cannot be happier for my loved ones diving into marriage-ville. I looove weddings! Everyone is so happy and the atmosphere is just great. I'm glad I love them because it looks like my wedding attending is far from over.